Home > Devotionals, General Posts, Social Commentary > “A price will be paid when you give yourself away.”

“A price will be paid when you give yourself away.”

Have you ever listened to a song over and over again, but then you listen to it just for fun one time and a line or two in the song suddenly knocks you down? If so, then you understand what I have recently felt. If you are familiar with Casting Crowns’ song “Slow Fade,” then you may recall the line “A price will be paid when you give yourself away.” I have heard this song many times before, but when I last heard this song just a few days ago, this line hit me like a ton of bricks (as the saying is). If you give yourself away, a price will be paid, namely your life. Ultimately, you will “fade” into nothingness under your sin. This theme of giving yourself into sin is found throughout the Bible and western literature. Adam and Eve gave themselves to sin by eating the forbidden fruit. Faust’s pact with the devil is now a literary archetype that symbolizes any giving oneself away to any vice. And on and on I could go. Instead, I will cut to the chase and come right out with it: when we give ourselves away to any sin, we begin to fade away. Recall Paul’s seemingly harsh language in Romans 14:23:

… For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”

Anything not done in faith is sin! Anything at all, even things that are “good” can be—rather, are—sin when we do not do them out of faith! Specifically, “Slow Fade” by Casting Crowns deals with the sin of adultery (see their music video), a sexual sin. Their song deals with a father’s infidelity to his child’s mother (his wife). In this post, I will branch off for a moment to confront a sin that is in the lives of many young people and has even been a part of my own life in the past: the sin of “giving one’s heart away.” Or to put this in another way, as the Shulamite maiden (Solomon’s betrothed) says in Song of Solomon 3:5:

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem [though this exhortation applies to both men and women], by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”

“Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” What admonishing words. The modern dating experience is a joke. People are getting hurt over and over again—for what? A few nice dinners with an attractive person? To feel the exhilaration of “love” only to be thrown down into the deepest pits of despair? I say, enough is enough. I say, let’s stop being carried about by every passing attraction we feel toward another person—however admirable they may really be. I say, let’s give our hearts to God! Let us renew our commitment to Him! Let’s truly believe that He will provide that spouse in the future in His perfect timing. Is it wrong to be proactive in relationships? No, but don’t jump the gun. Am I going to say people need to get married right out of high school? No. Am I going to say people need to get married only after they’ve got a six-figure salary and loads of money in the bank? No. I’m going to say that we need to exercise Biblical wisdom in our lives—and our faith should carry into our “love lives.” Be patient; don’t worry about tomorrow (Matt. 6:34, 1 Pet. 5:6-7). We trust God for salvation, we should trust Him to provide a godly spouse—and to empower us to be godly spouses when the time comes. The world’s wares are fleeting; they do not last, and they are worthless. God, however, has what is best for you as His child in His mind. If he gives you a spouse tomorrow, praise God. If he gives you a spouse in ten years, praise God. If He never blesses you with a spouse, praise God; you are better able to devote more time to Him (1 Cor. 7:17, 10:31).

I am no expert on this subject, but I say these things not on my authority, but on the authority of the Bible, God’s Holy Word: “Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” If you’re like me, though, it’s too late: you’ve done this before. But the glorious thing about God is that He forgives His people when they confess their sins (1 John 1:9). God’s Holy Spirit that indwells us enables us to repent and to be always reforming and conforming to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29). When God first brought this sin to my attention a few months ago, I was appalled. Being impatient with this, as with any other aspect, shows a lack of trust in God, a lack of faith: sin. As Kevin DeYoung writes in Just Do Something:

Worry and anxiety … are sinful fruits that blossom from the root of unbelief.”

Rather than jumping the gun on love, let us exercise Scriptural wisdom. Let’s be patient; let’s trust God. Should we be proactive? Yes. Should we be preparing ourselves for future marriage? Unless God has called us to singleness (both singleness and marriage are ministries), then yes. But we should be doing so in whole dependence upon and faith in God. “A price will be paid when you give yourself away.” Remember, you are not your own; as a Christian, you are God’s.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor. 6:19-20)

“Glorify God in your body.” Do not give yourself to someone who is not your spouse. You hurt not only yourself and your relationship with God, but sins—even forgiven sins—have consequences. God forgave David of committing adultery with Bathsheba and murdering her husband, Uriah, but David and Bathsheba’s son still died because of that sin. You will experience pain from giving your heart—even a part of it—away for any length of time. Sometimes, that pain will last. But joy and peace are found in our Lord Jesus Christ. Confessed sins are forgiven sins. Do not go away condemned, fellow Christian, go away renewed in your commitment to the Lord. Go away from this blog rejoicing that your sin is forgiven in Christ, and that by His grace you can do the impossible: by His grace, you (and I) can trust that the Lord will provide a spouse just as He has provided salvation. Jesus’ words on this are most helpful:

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness [Christ; Jer. 23:6], and all these things [physical needs] will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow; for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” –Matthew 6:33-34

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